Tuesday, March 3, 2009

December 14th

Despite a lack of mistletoe, all I've been wanting to do lately is kiss your forehead. Remember that time you were hogging all the blankets and it was so dark when you turned out the light but I wasn't scared cause I felt your arm beside mine. Your hand was there too, touching my side right where the bed pulled up my shirt. Remember?that's when you kissed me on the forehead. I turned away for a moment- we were thinking many things. But then I said, "I liked it when you kissed my forehead just now." And you did it again. Do it again now.

Monday, March 2, 2009

suntan and smoke

So I knew that old car was a piece of crap. Smoke and everything every time I try to go someplace. Ha. Yeah, like today. I can't believe I missed it. Honestly, I finally have good intentions. And I don't know how to tell her I'm sorry. Maybe I'll just take the bus back before she wakes up and she'll forget her invitation and everything. Well, she might not forget but maybe she will forgive. It's easier to forgive when you don't have to see the face-the face of your most dissapointing child. Man, damn car. You know, I tried so hard. There I was driving those flat grey roads through the country wondering how much longer they would last and feeling all nervous and excited and warm like I finally knew I was doing the right thing. Man, even though I had to scrape the ice from the windshield before I left, the sun now comes through my window and I feel so warm-my skin feels hot like I am getting a tan. And then. Stop. Smoke. And I was stuck. Yeah. I'm taking the bus back. Don't tell her I was here. Can I take a piece of the cake?

Mobile Blogging from here.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

at least I can

Sometimes I like watching my own eyes well up in the mirror.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Farmer Talk

(seated in a fast food restaurant, talking to other local workers.)
It was the first time I had ever been on a train. Ever ridden the railroad. I am riding that train all the way up to Fairbanks, Alaska and looking out my window trying to see things. Too many damn trees. I never want to see another tree again. This here scenery is fine for me. Ain’t congested with branches. I listen to the whistles at night—the trains going through Alton with their whistles. Damn loud at night when you’re trying to sleep. Drive me crazy. Little Mary loves them though. She says, “When’s the trains coming? When’s the trains coming.” I say, “The trains come when you sleep, darling.” She says she wants to ride the trains all day and all night. I tell her about Alaska. I tell her the only thing she’ll see from that train is too many damn trees. Ain’t nothing like being here.


K ‘Bout time.
H I know, sorry, I got on the wrong subway.
K You would.
H I know, pretty pathetic. But there was a man on there with a great beard. You would have loved him. He was carrying a banjo. Almost asked for his number.
K For me?
H Yeah.
K You did not.
H I know.
K Snotbag.
H Wow I haven’t been here for a couple years. Looks better.
K Yeah, I guess they’ve spent a lot of time cleaning it up.
H How many years?
K Since 9/11?
H Yeah. Seven?
K Yeah I guess so.
H Sort of weird, isn’t it?
K Yeah. This place is still kind of eerie.
H I feel like we shouldn’t be talking here.
K Yeah. Do you want to go get coffee?
H No, no, I actually have to run. But I brought you your book. Thanks.
K No prob. Hey, look at that kid over there with his mom.
H Cute!
K I know. She’s crying.
H My dad was supposed to be here that day.
K I remember you told me that.
H I don’t understand why God says yes to some people and no to others.
K Do you think that’s how it is?
H I don’t really know. I guess so.
K I don’t really remember what they looked like.
H Like skyscrapers.
K Yeah thanks. Did you know that a lot of those tv shows used to have images of them in the intros but they took them out afterwards?
H I guess that makes sense. Sort of sensitive.
K Are you okay?
H Yeah, I’m fine. I’m fine.
K Okay, well call me later.
H Yeah I will.
K Lets get Starbucks tonight.
H Okay.
K Its hard to look at isn’t it?
H Yeah. And hard to talk about too.
K I know. And I wasn’t even that close to it.
H I know.
K Okay, hug me.
H Bye.
K Bye. See you later gator.

Friday, March 21, 2008

So one of the most uncomfortable things that can happen to a person is to make eye contact with a stranger in a public bathroom mirror.


"Did we in our own strength confide,
Our striving would be losing."

"Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart,
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art..."

"There is a fountain filled with blood, drawn from Immanuel's veins,
And sinners plunged beneath that flood, lose all their guilty stains."

"I hear the Saviour say,
'Thy strength indeed is small,
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Fing in Me thine all and all."

"May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's sun!"

"Jesus paid it all, All to Him I owe,
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow."

"Oh Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary sould in Thee."